The Age of Innocence

I know I don't tend to do this, but I started writing this song, and I feel like it should be the title track to "The Age of Innocence." It just sums up the underlying issue of the entire album. And it's heavily influenced by the book, so wonderful allusions.

Lyrics are not finished by any means. Some are just sketches/ideas that I need to make more beautiful or authentic or something artistic. And because the lyrics aren't complete, I'm going to show you what I've written in my top secret songwriting journal. Actually, I might do that in the future, just to make the process more personal. Better to see handwriting so you know I'm actually writing these songs or putting in some thought, you know?

You Can Do Anything

I apologize for this incredible cynicism. I sat in on a songwriting workshop, and I feel as though it over-strategized the process, to the point that it became a little offensive.
ie. if you're writing a pop song, make it at least 100 bpm and have it sung by a woman. If country, under 100 bpm and sung by a man.
So I wrote this song. The melody borrows a lot from Frou Frou's "Breathe In," so turn on that song when reading this.

"Hello, nice to meet YOU!
I'm a messenger for YOUR soul.
How's YOUR day? Are YOU busy?
Take a listen to this musical solace.
If YOU'RE a woman, I can be a woman.
If YOU'RE a man, turn off this song.

It's so catchy.
I'm in your mind.
I float around so you'm unwind.
The world is love. I'm so uplifting.
Insert song title here.

Hello, did I do a good job?
Is this personable? Let me explain.
I'm even deeper than the 1st verse.
But you won't remember this. Just skip to the chorus.

(Chorus)

This is where I get all deep and thoughtful,
And you finally learn the meaning of the song.

(Chorus)"

I refer to the sexist rules, that you should gear a pop song toward women because men won't buy your records without a woman's influence, include "you"s everywhere, stereotypical uplifting feelings, and stereotypical song development format, AND including the song title within the first 60 seconds of the song. I'm such an opponent against that rule. The title creates an expectation for the piece, so it needs to be what you want the listener to feel. The lyrics could be completely different.

I've found my dark place

"November 19, 2012"

I think I've found my dark place.
I saw it in the room.
It tried to take my breath away,
So I did all but swoon.
I followed Darkness to its room
And kept it company.
But little did I know,
It would be the death of me.

Awkward flirting somehow turning
Into what I thought was a new life.

I think I've found my dark place.
It was crying in the chair.
Accusations of exclusion.
Why'd I have to care?
I tried to let it in my life,
But it wouldn't behave.
It tried enveloping itself
With ego that I gave.

Opportunity confusion
Leading to my self-implosion.
I want it back.

I think I've found my dark place.
It was driving me away.
I tried to be accepting
Of its sensitive array.
I let it choose the music
And the food we always ate.
And I became a slave to Darkness.
Sense kicked in too late.

Self-importance prominent
Over the vestiges of give-and-take.
Where is my semblance?

I think I killed the darkness.
They were manifesting schemes,
Altering the universe
With Godforsaken dreams.
I had to cut the devil out
Before it reached the head.
But Darkness faded into Light,
So I killed myself instead.

Wake Up and Drink This Poison

I think I'm finally ready to unveil "{Drink Me}." I still consider it a demo because I haven't spent a whole lot of time mixing it, or sent it to get mixed, so I'm not sure how the finished product will sound yet. But I wanted to show everyone what I had been working on officially since October but mostly since January of this year. And I wanted people to hear that while I'm still working on writing some happier music, I can at least write happy-sounding music.

Don't be fooled though. This isn't a love song, or at least, it isn't in the traditional sense. Sometimes, I get so fed up with being lonely, that I wish that any girl would take a chance on me. {Drink Me} communicates this feeling. I don't say, "Wake and and love me," because that isn't what I think I deserve. I say, "Wake up and drink my poison" because I know that my feelings are incredibly selfish, and will only be detrimental to the person involved.

So please, don't play this song at a wedding. Or on Valentine's Day. But do enjoy if you're lonely!

Drink Me

Thank You, Dana

Just finished a documentary on the work of Marina Abramovic. Her art was incredibly moving. And her masterpiece was as "simple" as sitting at a chair and staring back at people visiting her exhibit at MoMA. I connected with her work and Vito Acconci's on a deep, kind of scary level. But it's definitely for the better. I feel as though this exposure to profoundly emotional performance art will positively affect my outlook on experimental music, and it'll help me be more honest in my own music.

So much of art is baring your soul, but what really hits people is exposing a part of you that people don't want to see. I don't exactly know which direction I'm taking, but I do want to continue writing pieces that deal with what people don't want to hear. Not sonically necessarily, but lyrically and content-wise.

I want to write a song about nothing. Who would listen to that? ;)

Piano Productivity

I woke up early yet late today (oh Daylight Savings), went to church, and started recording takes for my piano tracks. "Don't Wanna" went alright, but "Wake Up" was brutal. You realize how much you don't know a piece when you have to record it.

Everything's coming along this year...

Public Apology

Sorry, I've been sandbagging lyrics, thinking that everything should be kept secret. But I hate that. And I guess I'm also waiting to finish songs before I post them, but that takes the fun out of the creative process. That's assuming that my songs are completely perfect, and I don't want your input. But YOU, reader, I do want your input. Because while I am creating my own art (insert artist statement), I'm also catering to you, my audience. And it's important that you like what you are (possibly) supporting.

So here you go! A big spoonful of despondency.