(Wake Up)

Today was the final day of the Jeff Franzel Songwriting Workshop. Advice: If you ever get to participate in this forum or even meet him, do it! He was incredibly helpful!

I finished my "October 17, 2012" song and performed it at the showcase today. This was a really nerve-wracking and exciting performance, because I took a different compositional approach to this song than really any other song I've ever done. Because I had to perform the song to receive feedback, I did a lot of improvising...more than I've ever been comfortable with. I had a beginning theme, a chorus theme, and the chord progression, but I just made up everything in between to keep the song going.
I'm really proud of the final result. SO PROUD in fact, that I'm going to record a demo with just piano/voice, and I will be playing the piano! Woh now!!!!

The finalized version will be a nice little pop track with some piano, lots of synth, and minimal drum machine. But I'll make both versions available...eventually. I'm still struggling over the title. I really don't like the title at all, but I can't think of anything else, so I'm putting the title in parentheses until I've made a decision.

Lyrics:

Baby, you don't have to run.

Just learn to take the fall.

Not good enough

Is better after all.

It's a matter of choice and heart.

Not trying to pull you down.

I can make a good start

If you let me stick around.

I'm not so sure you like me at all,

But I'll keep trying 'til you reject me.

I'm staying positive and

It makes me feel alive.

I know you look at other guys,

But I know that you still love me.

I need you to realize my truth.

Wake up and drink the poison.

I know it's not your fault.

You just don't notice me.

I can be difficult

Romantically.

But when I'm with you.

I am the man I should be.

It's shit like that

That makes you leave.

I'm not so sure you like me at all,

But I'll keep trying 'til you reject me.

I'm staying positive and

It makes me feel alive.

I know you look at other guys,

But I know that you still love me.

I need you to realize my truth.

Wake up and drink the poison.

(Instrumental)

I'm not so sure you like me at all,

But I'll keep trying 'til you reject me.

I'm staying positive and

It makes me feel alive.

I know you look at other guys,

But I know that you still love me.

I need you to realize my truth.

Wake up...

Wake up and drink my poison.

My Life is so Positive

So my music should reflect that, right? That's what I think. But every time I sit down to write a positive song, it turns into something sad. (Big insight to Luke Morin songwriting process. Remember this moment...) I'm never just happy. There's always some back-story, where something negative happened, and I'm getting over it. Songwriting is my personal therapy session. So in that sense, it makes sense that my music is a little upsetting. But I don't want to be THAT songwriter. The tortured soul. I like having a tortured soul, but I don't like this pigeon-hole.

So, tangent...

And now back.

I'm working on writing some positive music. I'm starting with love songs because love is the easiest positive emotion for me to express through music. But I'd like to branch out into truly positive and even spiritual ideas. I think it would be an amazing compositional breakthrough.

January 5, 2013

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"
Parading through the crowded roads.
"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!
Take it out on someone else."

When you wake up,
Do you blame the sun for disturbing your sleep?
Is the brightness too high for your safety?
How do you survive knowing your day is incomplete?
It's time to take it out on someone undeserving.

Wasted people, sing your anthem.
Finally, you get your song.

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"

Parading through the crowded roads.

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!

Take it out on someone else."

"December 17, 2012"

"December 17, 2012"

My house.
My room.
My bed.
My head.
My food.
My job.
My car.
My heart.

I need to feel like this is mine.

(repeat)

Disconnection from sentiment.
A sweet collection of nothing meant.
My years of building - a consequence.
Fulfill the feeling of independence.

New Cover Idea

So, I've been listening to so much Depeche Mode lately, and I'm thinking of doing a cover of one of at least their songs. I definitely want to do "Personal Jesus," but I'd love to do "John the Revelator" or "Blasphemous Rumors." Actually, anything from their catalog would be good. But I was thinking "Personal Jesus," maybe even "John the Revelator," would be perfect The Age of Innocence.

Случайные Мысли

Случайные Мысли

Is Patience Truly a Virtue?

So, I finished a really important song last night. And I was all excited to post the completed lyrics up for everyone to see...but then, I thought..."This is an epic moment for me. Would it be better if I waited, built up the suspense? Do it like REAL recording artists and tease about how I have new stuff for 3 months, build up the hype, and then release a critically acclaimed hit single? Blah blah blah?"

...I've developed an opinion mid-post: Forget suspense. Forget being a musical tease. If I ever make it big, THEN I will be a jerk and prolong the release of "precious" lyrics/songs. But for now, let's just enjoy some music! More specifically, a collection of words that describe mental state on July 17, 2012 and a little bit on December 10 (Holy Goodness, that was yesterday!). Let's reiterate: I write songs based on incredibly personal subjects. I include dates with my songs now, not only to emulate a journal entry, but also to show when I was experiencing what I was writing. This particular song is pretty pathetic, but no worries. Its just therapy :)

"July 17, 2012"

I sit here eating Triscuits and chocolate chips
At 1 in the morning.
I'm getting bigger...and older too.
Second pass; unnoticed.
I've sat and waited for 8 long years,
Hoping for a miracle.
A break in the shit that
I've put up with.
Something less difficult.
I take four steps closer
To my ideal life.
Music path uncharted.
But the fairy tale stories
Show minimal odds.
Then, I'm back to where I started.

Where is my money going now?
I have to figure out my future somehow.

I'm not a winner.
I'm not a survivor.
I'm unentertaining and weak.
I'm a maybe.
Never a definite reply.
I'm forgetful,
And I'm forgettable.
I lack encouragement, support.
I'm an answer
To the question of failure.

I pretend that I'm famous and popular
And write alone in my room.
Post songs on my Facebook site
And sell it all on iTunes.
Four steps later,
I'm a millionaire.
Successful and insightful.
But reality kicks in,
And I'm wasted space.
No one's very helpful.

I'm not a winner.

I'm not a survivor.

I'm unentertaining and weak.

I'm a maybe.

Never a definite reply.

I'm forgetful,

And I'm forgettable.

I lack encouragement, support.

I'm an answer

To the question of failure.

If I can break through

The crowd of desperate hopefuls,

Maybe I'll stop wasting my life.

If I can sing out,

Bare my soul,

Maybe someone will like what I have to say...

I sit here, eating Pick Up Stix

At 6 in the evening...

I'm not a winner.

I'm not a survivor.

I'm unentertaining and weak.

I'm a maybe.

Never a definite reply.

I'm forgetful,

And I'm forgettable.

I lack encouragement, support.

I'm an answer

To the question of failure.