Sleep

Mama, you don't look so well.
I'm human enough to tell.
I'm sorry that I hurt you so,
But I can't breathe.
I'll take my memories from this cell,
Hold them forever when I'm in Hell.
You tell me that I'm saved,
But it's too late for me.

I'll sleep it all away.

I'll never know what it's like to be
Out in the open. So wild and lost, but free.
Maybe when I meet God,
He will answer me.
I'll write the letters that go unread,
Take the emptiness and leave it in my head.
I left so many things unsaid.
I'm so hard to reach.

I'll sleep it all away.

Won't you believe me?
I can't fight this
Fate I see.
I invite it.
(Repeat)

I'll sleep it all away.
(Repeat numerous times)

...oops! I found an extra verse that I never recorded. Maybe I'll have to have a bonus version that includes this verse.

Mister, I don't need your help.
I'd be better off without Him now.
I don't deserve to be free
From all of this pain.
They took away my innocence.
I didn't have a chance to avoid death.
Now, I choose to take this shame
And walk on straight.

A Lesson Before Dying Soundtrack Tracklist

1. A Ghost **
   
2. Judgement *
   
3. Raise Me Down (3)
   
4. Too Destructive (3)
   
5. Plastic People (3)
   
6. NightYear (3)
   
7. Heard And Wanted (3)
   
8. 05 New. (3)
   
9. Sleep *
   
10. The End (3)

**= not a new song, but not from TheDangerZone Part3
*= new song
(3)= from TheDangerZone Part3

New Song!

So, for the past few days, I have been working diligently on procrastination hw. I know, shocker! But part of the project I had to do for A Lesson Before Dying was to create a soundtrack. Luckily, I am a musical artist! :-) So I got into action. Seeing that I only had three days, I didn't get too many songs finished (2!). But they're pretty good. The first one, called "Judgement", is an orchestral track. I like how weird it sounds, and there are a LOT of triplets. Then, there's my new obsession: "Sleep". It's Jefferson's song. I'm completely in love with it. It just sounds...so...COOL! I love the music, I love the vocals, I love the lyrics. I've played it a million times and it hasn't gotten old. I just...oh my goodness I'm getting worked up over the song. But that's how proud I am of it. Anyway, the soundtrack has to be at least 10 tracks, so I couldn't just turn in those two (with an unfinished demo of "A Ghost" used as an intro). So I compiled a 10-track soundtrack, cushioning the vast empty spaces with possibly-relevant-to-the-book tracks from TheDangerZone Part3, and I'm still searching for more songs. I want this soundtrack to be a Luke Morin soundtrack, not some compilation of other artists.

Updates

That right there was what I have of "Just Not Made For Love". Also working on the music.
I've been composing "Let Me". That'll take a little longer.
Chto Hochu is so close to being complete. Just need to record a bit more. C'est Gâché is getting there. I still need to write the second verse, finish arranging the music, and record. Other than that...
Also started the "Unusual You" song. Still don't have a title for it.
And, I want to write a song called "Stalemate". It may be the "I give up..." one.

Just Not Made For Love

Maybe some were just not made for love.
Burning candles of hope,
Falling to the ground.
Maybe I was just not made for love.
Hold my head up high.
I won't give up.

I made a mistake.
I've compromised myself.
How long did it take?
It's too late to tell.
I want to be here,
Hopelessly falling down.
But my piece does not fit,
No longer safe and sound.

I can't bring my words to sense.
My passive thoughts just stir the mess.

(Chorus)

new chorus (which I already forgot the tune to) :-(

I give up
This life of love's not worth it.
I'm taking off
This heart on my sleeve.
It only makes me cry.
I'll lose hope.
I'm crawling back to my safety zone.

(I do so hate you very well)

I'm just a stupid boy.
I don't know anything.
Look up to the sky.
I'm just chasing a dream.
When I'm all ready,
I'm standing in a line,
Waiting for the girl
Who's always on my

Mind your step.
I'm always waiting my turn.
I couldn't get any worse.
You're always getting in my way.
It took me the likes of you to say

I do so hate you very well.
I'm sick and tired of this very act of standing still.
I do so hate you very well.
I'll never give myself away.

I don't know how to speak
Like I know everything.
I don't know how to play
All of your stupid games.
I don't have the time
To sabotage your stay.
But listen to me. If you hurt her,
I'll know where to find you. It's that easy.
And I never wonder
How you were found.
No, I simply wonder
Why she's sticking around.

Round the corner.
Open your frivolous eyes.
Regret the day you realize
I will not be anything but polite,
But when there is no disguise...

(Chorus)

It's so un-Christian of me,
But I hate you.
Waiting respectfully
For my chance to fly.

That's it for now. I like that I get to be a little mean in this song. I just need to listen to these words all of the time, along with Let Me.

London did me some good!

got some new ideas, and some new lyrics!

Off to London

tomorrow! I'll have lots of time to sight-see.
To think.
To write.
Get that musical brain working!

New ending to "Let Me"

After the "Surrounded by myself, I'm giving up." line, there will be (No. I can't give up.)

Then, continuing the song from where I left off in the last post about "Let Me":

Let's go before I was thinking
That I could be that guy.

Let me cry.
Let me fall down one more time.
Let me cry.
But I will never say goodbye.

Let me cry.
Let me fall down one more time.
I'll still try.
I will never, never say goodbye.

I was just very troubled by the overall "giving up" mood of the song. I want to leave a bit of hope in the end.

Changes/Additions to A Ghost (as of January 10)

Going over the music this weekend, I decided to rearrange the lyrics a bit. Here they are in their new and improved entirety.

I see the hole where I should be.
What I think, who I need.
I'm at a loss for all that's important.
Realize I have no possibilities.

The weight will drop down
Wherever I run.
Soon I will be crowned
A Nice No One.

So I'll be home alone
Waiting for my life to come.
The cold numbs all my darkest thoughts.
I should be gratified
That you deign to keep me alive.
'Cos no one sees a ghost.

I can still hear you.
My heart waits here for you.
My love will never say die.

So inexperienced, yet so undesirable.
So naive, I thought everything would work out on its own.
Chances in my fallacies are soon becoming rare.
My robotic abstinence will be only despair.

Watching people coupling
As I fake a horrid smile.
Thoughts of you and me
Begin to surface all the while.
I'll cry too late,
For I will never see you.
Simply end this day,
My broken heart continued.

(Chorus)

I see the hole where I should be.
What I think, who I need.
I'm at a loss for all that's important.
Realize I have no possibilities.

But I see the hole where I can't be.
Imagine I'm a possibility.
Desperate crossroads becoming scared.
My frail insecurity could end my life right there.

(Chorus)

?Done?

Tonight, I'll hang up.
I'll go inside.
Finally, I'm done.
I've held up all my signs.
I broke myself to no return.
Never again
Will I speak a word.

Suppressed myself so much,
I don't have any tears.

I don't understand my thoughts.
I just don't know my heart.
But why must I go?
Why can't we start?

Another Untitled Jumble of Words!

I almost scared myself today.
Things were getting weird.
I tried to step aside,
Only missing you more.
I can't play it easy.
If I'm going to break,
Let me break for you.

I'm so stupid.
I'm so ashamed.
But I've got nothing left to take away.
Self-destructing.
I'm so afraid.
Will I ever get the chance?

I'm dangling.
Let me on the ground.
You're floating.
Get off of those clouds.
I'm waiting.
Just say no.
You're wavering.
You're wavering.
I'll wait!

Don't let me fall.
I don't know my pain.
Cloaked in confusion.
Just give me my mask,
And I'll pretend.
I'm so good at not feeling.
I can relapse,
Ruin my life.
Anything to stay in denial.

But I'll always keep you close.
I've loved too much, my heart too full.
I'll stay in place forever
If it means you're happy.

Wait

I'm sick,
And I'm wasting my time.
Hold on.
I'll never see the light.
Just let me reach the ground
Before the pain seeps in again.
For nothing feels better
Than this mess I'm in.
I'll keep these feelings
Bottled up inside
'Til the time is right.
This, I tried.

But
I can't wait by the phone,
Hoping for a call
To make my life amazing,
While I'm missing it all.
I won't sit on the edge,
Breaking my heart.
To watch you walk away
______________
I can't wait for your call.

?Unusual You?

Don't have a title yet...

I'll dream... (whispered)

I can't...ooh, I can't get you away.
Impossible to keep from play.
(Never mind. I'll see you later.)
I can't...ooh, I'll never get my way.
But I'm always one to stay.
(Never mind. It's not the right time.)

I'll wake up tonight and think you really love me,
Hold onto nothing to catch a glimpse of chance.
I'll be here to feel your love, forever waiting.
But I'm another...

I'll try today, love tomorrow.
Cross the line to waste the time.
I'll sing away my blissful sorrow
And hide this face to cry in shame.

Nothing left for Mr. Reject.
I'll just take another step back.

I'll hope, but I'm not everything.
Will this be my wasted dream?
(Don't cross the line. It's not the right time.)
I can't...ooh, I can't be second ring.
You think of me or it's nothing.
(Hold on tight. We'll be here later.)

(Bridge)
(Chorus)

I guess that you've realized
I won't fade to gray.
I'll wait right here,
But only in center stage.

I can't...ooh, I can't make an escape.
I'm stuck in your crazy game.
(No delays. I won't wait!)

Back!

...with some lyrics. Working on a song possibly for recital this year called "Let Me".

Let Me
Tears falling, and I don't know why.
Unanswered, but not a reply.
Forgetting that it's in my head.
I'll never free it again.

Just tell me you'll never miss me.
That I've lost my mind.
Say to me you'll never carry
This foolish heart of mine.

Ooh, let me cry.
Let me fall down one more time.
Let me cry
Before I say goodbye.

Unwinding all my thoughts again.
I'll never see the end.
Make believe I'm my only friend,
And I'll crawl back inside myself again.

Just show me I'll never wonder
What my life could be.
Break my spirit 'til I'm nothing.
Give me what I need!

(Chorus)

I've felt the bottom now. I can't go on.
Surrounded by myself, I'm giving up.

Just show me my silly nothings.
Tell me it's a lie.


more to come later...