Inherited Life

I got the idea for this song while reading An American Tragedy Book 2, Chapter XIII. It's at the part that describes Roberta's father's upbringing and the family's resulting ideology. He has what he has and does what he does because he inherited it. Same goes with his beliefs. He believes what he was brought up to believe, never questioning what he was taught. And as a fervent believer in active religion, I truly believe that questioning ones faith only makes it stronger. This song deals with the moment a lot of us realize we don't know why we think/believe/do what we think/believe/do.

August 19, 2013

I don't know how I got here.
It's like I woke up from a dream.
I had all these plans, at one point...I think.
But they took the back seat.
A steady little nightmare,
Drinking too much from the grave.
I should be digging my own holes
Instead of filling up the holes you left for me.

I have to think...think for myself.
But it's hard breaking away from what I've known.

I don't know what I've done,
What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.
How could I be happy when I am,
But I'm not doing anything for myself?
A blind statuarium.
I love what's been done for me,
But how can I be my own?
(I don't know what I've done,
What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.)

I can't believe what I'm reading.
All my life, brought up believing.
But it doesn't stop my breathing.
But I never could think of leaving.
I never paid attention,
Just swallowed nutrients that I was fed.
And now, dictation has left me
In need of something fulfilling.

I have to think, think for myself.
But it's hard breaking away from what I've known.
I need to ask what I'm doing. I've been craving
An idea I call home.

I don't know what I've done,

What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.

How could I be happy when I am,

But I'm not doing anything for myself?

A blind statuarium.

I love what's been done for me,

But how can I be my own?

(I don't know what I've done,

What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.)

This probably won't be the final set of lyrics. I just wanted to share what I was thinking of tonight. But I definitely need to figure out what word I'm thinking of instead of "statuarium." Just looked that up, and I don't think nominative neuter form of Latin word "statuarius" will cut it. Good to know I can pull out some random Latin, and it sort of maybe fits, but I don't believe that word is necessary to the song. The search begins!

(A)lone(ly)?

Was it something I said?

"May 7, 2013"

I wrote this in my "Lyricist's Notebook" with a 6/8 meter, but doesn't it sound more like a semi-conversation or poem-that-doesn't-sound-like-a-poem rather than a song?

"Hi. That's what I said.

I make no commitment.

My name's Luke. Is that what you heard?

Good...walk on.

You may make my life

A million times better,

But I'll never know

Because I walked up to my room.

I wish I could go back, scratch out the missed opportunities,

The times I said, 'Go for it...wait no. Stop. It's too hard.

Just keep walking.'

Oh, I kick myself for no reason.

The most friends wins you the most hearts.

The most words - the most chances.

How do I make this living,

Charming people with nothing?

How do I do it? How am I supposed to do it?

My Perspective on "The Age of Innocence"

I finished reading The Age of Innocence the other day. It's given me some to think about for this "concept album" I've conceived. I really ran with Wharton's conveyance of conformity and the societal standard. I may have run too far. Who knows?
Finishing the book has given me some ideas on how to shape my lyrics to provide a still warped but more human approach to the often-touched but complicated-enough-for-new-angles topic of individual versus the group. The struggle to figure out not only how to stay true to yourself, but also to discern when you are following the crowd and when you are breaking off on your own.
I didn't invest much energy into writing for the love triangle Wharton puts at the center of The Age of Innocence. I figured I already told a despairing love story. Why tell it again? So, this collection of songs will hopefully not center around one love; it will be more about love in general. Falling in love in a world of explicit traditions and hidden expectations.
If I record them all, there should be a substantial amount of b-sides...for, you know...stuff.

Oh, my songwriting experiments...

They don't always work.

Pretty little words...