More on "Pretty Little Words"

As an "artist," I've struggled a lot with the promotional/financial side of my career. I have this mentality that I'm going to write this beautiful/weird music and people are just going to throw money at me eventually. But obviously, that isn't reality. I started writing this song, "Pretty Little Words," in May because I was frustrated with my inability to write "the perfect song." This summer was supposed to be spent really searching myself for material and getting some traction in the music world, and that didn't entirely happen. This song is explicitly about wanting to write a beautiful song; beautiful in a musical or intellectual or "je-ne-sais-quoi" sense. On an ironically more profound level, it is also about material and professional aspiration.

I've started the piano arrangement for the song, which you can listen to here.

Inherited Life

I got the idea for this song while reading An American Tragedy Book 2, Chapter XIII. It's at the part that describes Roberta's father's upbringing and the family's resulting ideology. He has what he has and does what he does because he inherited it. Same goes with his beliefs. He believes what he was brought up to believe, never questioning what he was taught. And as a fervent believer in active religion, I truly believe that questioning ones faith only makes it stronger. This song deals with the moment a lot of us realize we don't know why we think/believe/do what we think/believe/do.

August 19, 2013

I don't know how I got here.
It's like I woke up from a dream.
I had all these plans, at one point...I think.
But they took the back seat.
A steady little nightmare,
Drinking too much from the grave.
I should be digging my own holes
Instead of filling up the holes you left for me.

I have to think...think for myself.
But it's hard breaking away from what I've known.

I don't know what I've done,
What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.
How could I be happy when I am,
But I'm not doing anything for myself?
A blind statuarium.
I love what's been done for me,
But how can I be my own?
(I don't know what I've done,
What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.)

I can't believe what I'm reading.
All my life, brought up believing.
But it doesn't stop my breathing.
But I never could think of leaving.
I never paid attention,
Just swallowed nutrients that I was fed.
And now, dictation has left me
In need of something fulfilling.

I have to think, think for myself.
But it's hard breaking away from what I've known.
I need to ask what I'm doing. I've been craving
An idea I call home.

I don't know what I've done,

What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.

How could I be happy when I am,

But I'm not doing anything for myself?

A blind statuarium.

I love what's been done for me,

But how can I be my own?

(I don't know what I've done,

What I'll do with a life I got from someone else.)

This probably won't be the final set of lyrics. I just wanted to share what I was thinking of tonight. But I definitely need to figure out what word I'm thinking of instead of "statuarium." Just looked that up, and I don't think nominative neuter form of Latin word "statuarius" will cut it. Good to know I can pull out some random Latin, and it sort of maybe fits, but I don't believe that word is necessary to the song. The search begins!

(A)lone(ly)?

Was it something I said?

"May 7, 2013"

I wrote this in my "Lyricist's Notebook" with a 6/8 meter, but doesn't it sound more like a semi-conversation or poem-that-doesn't-sound-like-a-poem rather than a song?

"Hi. That's what I said.

I make no commitment.

My name's Luke. Is that what you heard?

Good...walk on.

You may make my life

A million times better,

But I'll never know

Because I walked up to my room.

I wish I could go back, scratch out the missed opportunities,

The times I said, 'Go for it...wait no. Stop. It's too hard.

Just keep walking.'

Oh, I kick myself for no reason.

The most friends wins you the most hearts.

The most words - the most chances.

How do I make this living,

Charming people with nothing?

How do I do it? How am I supposed to do it?

My Perspective on "The Age of Innocence"

I finished reading The Age of Innocence the other day. It's given me some to think about for this "concept album" I've conceived. I really ran with Wharton's conveyance of conformity and the societal standard. I may have run too far. Who knows?
Finishing the book has given me some ideas on how to shape my lyrics to provide a still warped but more human approach to the often-touched but complicated-enough-for-new-angles topic of individual versus the group. The struggle to figure out not only how to stay true to yourself, but also to discern when you are following the crowd and when you are breaking off on your own.
I didn't invest much energy into writing for the love triangle Wharton puts at the center of The Age of Innocence. I figured I already told a despairing love story. Why tell it again? So, this collection of songs will hopefully not center around one love; it will be more about love in general. Falling in love in a world of explicit traditions and hidden expectations.
If I record them all, there should be a substantial amount of b-sides...for, you know...stuff.

Oh, my songwriting experiments...

They don't always work.

Pretty little words...

We had our piano compositions recorded today, and our class's compositions reminded me of the compositions my music theory class recorded last year. The high school idea of modern composition and the college idea, I've realized, are two completely different matters. My own composition from last year was a musique concrète-lite piece as a tribute/criticism of Twitter. Other pieces were reading a poem over a minimal riff, composing with limited pitch material (Barktòk, anyone?), and juxtaposing jazz saxophone solos with drums (mediocre counterpoint?). But are those really modern? As discussed in forum, it's a little difficult to know WHAT exactly constitutes modern composition, especially because most people still revere techniques/styles over 40 years old. 12-tone music is post-tonal. Serialism can be post-tonal. Spectralism, closer to present day, is also post-tonal. So I guess if you consider post-tonal music a label for the music being created in classical art music, then all of those are still modern. But 12-tone started with Schönberg in the '20s. Serialism came after in the '50s. Musique concrète came in the late '40s. How old these styles are, and we're still looking back to them!!! Not saying that any of these styles are useless. But come on, can't we think of something new to teach?

I've seen some buzz at school for alternate tuning systems. JI is becoming more and more popular. As my comp teacher would have put it: Letting the instruments play how they were destined to play. Maybe he wouldn't have said it exactly like that, but it would've been something just as dramatic. Alternate tuning sounds interesting. Very mathematical...lots of physics. Maybe when I've mastered tonality (laughter), I can be bored with equal temperament and join the ranks of the high art world.

But for now, I'm still sticking to my original goal: combining pop and classical. I mostly wanted to introduce the "weird" classical techniques to pop music to add some sophistication and artistry to the production. But now that I'm at an innovative art school, I also want to introduce pop ideas to art music than can be aloof and impenetrable.

This is my manifesto! or a rant to distract me from writing a brass quartet.

The Age of Innocence

I know I don't tend to do this, but I started writing this song, and I feel like it should be the title track to "The Age of Innocence." It just sums up the underlying issue of the entire album. And it's heavily influenced by the book, so wonderful allusions.

Lyrics are not finished by any means. Some are just sketches/ideas that I need to make more beautiful or authentic or something artistic. And because the lyrics aren't complete, I'm going to show you what I've written in my top secret songwriting journal. Actually, I might do that in the future, just to make the process more personal. Better to see handwriting so you know I'm actually writing these songs or putting in some thought, you know?

You Can Do Anything

I apologize for this incredible cynicism. I sat in on a songwriting workshop, and I feel as though it over-strategized the process, to the point that it became a little offensive.
ie. if you're writing a pop song, make it at least 100 bpm and have it sung by a woman. If country, under 100 bpm and sung by a man.
So I wrote this song. The melody borrows a lot from Frou Frou's "Breathe In," so turn on that song when reading this.

"Hello, nice to meet YOU!
I'm a messenger for YOUR soul.
How's YOUR day? Are YOU busy?
Take a listen to this musical solace.
If YOU'RE a woman, I can be a woman.
If YOU'RE a man, turn off this song.

It's so catchy.
I'm in your mind.
I float around so you'm unwind.
The world is love. I'm so uplifting.
Insert song title here.

Hello, did I do a good job?
Is this personable? Let me explain.
I'm even deeper than the 1st verse.
But you won't remember this. Just skip to the chorus.

(Chorus)

This is where I get all deep and thoughtful,
And you finally learn the meaning of the song.

(Chorus)"

I refer to the sexist rules, that you should gear a pop song toward women because men won't buy your records without a woman's influence, include "you"s everywhere, stereotypical uplifting feelings, and stereotypical song development format, AND including the song title within the first 60 seconds of the song. I'm such an opponent against that rule. The title creates an expectation for the piece, so it needs to be what you want the listener to feel. The lyrics could be completely different.

I've found my dark place

"November 19, 2012"

I think I've found my dark place.
I saw it in the room.
It tried to take my breath away,
So I did all but swoon.
I followed Darkness to its room
And kept it company.
But little did I know,
It would be the death of me.

Awkward flirting somehow turning
Into what I thought was a new life.

I think I've found my dark place.
It was crying in the chair.
Accusations of exclusion.
Why'd I have to care?
I tried to let it in my life,
But it wouldn't behave.
It tried enveloping itself
With ego that I gave.

Opportunity confusion
Leading to my self-implosion.
I want it back.

I think I've found my dark place.
It was driving me away.
I tried to be accepting
Of its sensitive array.
I let it choose the music
And the food we always ate.
And I became a slave to Darkness.
Sense kicked in too late.

Self-importance prominent
Over the vestiges of give-and-take.
Where is my semblance?

I think I killed the darkness.
They were manifesting schemes,
Altering the universe
With Godforsaken dreams.
I had to cut the devil out
Before it reached the head.
But Darkness faded into Light,
So I killed myself instead.

Wake Up and Drink This Poison

I think I'm finally ready to unveil "{Drink Me}." I still consider it a demo because I haven't spent a whole lot of time mixing it, or sent it to get mixed, so I'm not sure how the finished product will sound yet. But I wanted to show everyone what I had been working on officially since October but mostly since January of this year. And I wanted people to hear that while I'm still working on writing some happier music, I can at least write happy-sounding music.

Don't be fooled though. This isn't a love song, or at least, it isn't in the traditional sense. Sometimes, I get so fed up with being lonely, that I wish that any girl would take a chance on me. {Drink Me} communicates this feeling. I don't say, "Wake and and love me," because that isn't what I think I deserve. I say, "Wake up and drink my poison" because I know that my feelings are incredibly selfish, and will only be detrimental to the person involved.

So please, don't play this song at a wedding. Or on Valentine's Day. But do enjoy if you're lonely!

Drink Me

Thank You, Dana

Just finished a documentary on the work of Marina Abramovic. Her art was incredibly moving. And her masterpiece was as "simple" as sitting at a chair and staring back at people visiting her exhibit at MoMA. I connected with her work and Vito Acconci's on a deep, kind of scary level. But it's definitely for the better. I feel as though this exposure to profoundly emotional performance art will positively affect my outlook on experimental music, and it'll help me be more honest in my own music.

So much of art is baring your soul, but what really hits people is exposing a part of you that people don't want to see. I don't exactly know which direction I'm taking, but I do want to continue writing pieces that deal with what people don't want to hear. Not sonically necessarily, but lyrically and content-wise.

I want to write a song about nothing. Who would listen to that? ;)

Piano Productivity

I woke up early yet late today (oh Daylight Savings), went to church, and started recording takes for my piano tracks. "Don't Wanna" went alright, but "Wake Up" was brutal. You realize how much you don't know a piece when you have to record it.

Everything's coming along this year...

Public Apology

Sorry, I've been sandbagging lyrics, thinking that everything should be kept secret. But I hate that. And I guess I'm also waiting to finish songs before I post them, but that takes the fun out of the creative process. That's assuming that my songs are completely perfect, and I don't want your input. But YOU, reader, I do want your input. Because while I am creating my own art (insert artist statement), I'm also catering to you, my audience. And it's important that you like what you are (possibly) supporting.

So here you go! A big spoonful of despondency.

"January 4, 2013"

Some days, I can't speak.
Stay home alone, and I just think.
I don't want to go out, just be by myself.
No one can break my quiet shell.
Don't ask me to host.
I can only pose.
I need a minute to calm down.
I know time is lost,
But I've been burning out.
Oh no, it's important to hang out.

So I go, I drive on.
This and that for every person.

What went wrong?
Why are we here?
What is this silence drawing near?
What went wrong?
Why didn't it last?
What made you leave so fast?

The perfect planner in for difficult denial.
Filling the awkward blips with amiable sunshine.
Hid in technology to prove imagined quests.
Sustaining hazards for sake of keeping clean contacts.

Awkwardness prevails and slowly drives away.

What went wrong?
Why did it die?
Why am I for keeping love alive?
What went wrong?
Why didn't we last?
What made your forget me for him so fast?

I love you. I need him.                 |          I love her. I need you.
Can't you forget about him?         |          Can't you forget about her?
I hate you, I hate him                   |          I hate her, I hate you
For what you did.                        |          For what you did.

"February 5, 2013"

I feel inadequate today.
My ruler isn't big enough to measure
The talent that surrounds me...mocks me.
Inspired by the failure to produce,
I make excuses, and let it loose.

My dreams are far, far away.
And if I keep it up, there they'll stay.
Try, try to stay awake.
Because today could be my day.

This is the life.
Risky business.
Put in the time
Without promises.
This is the dream.
You can't lose it.
Pick up the pace
And redo it.

February Pop Star

I wanna be a pop star.
I wanna change your life and make you happy.
Look to me when you're in need.
I'm your hero.

I'm doing things I don't wanna do,
Taking names, singing songs I don't really feel.
Collaborate with the ones who will make me strong.
Change the lines until I don't make sense anymore.
I breathe magic in your ear. You stop
Long enough to keep the money flowing.
I will never disappear, I hope,
As long as you follow me.

I wanna be a pop star.
I want unhealthy debates and a million death threats.
Let me corrupt your mind.
I'm your sinner.

I'm doing things I don't wanna do,
Saying things I don't really feel.

Just One Question

"February 28, 2013"

Just one question...
Who are we? Where do we come from?
Why are we born, and then we die?
What makes us important?
How do we survive?
Why is there evil? Why is there choice?
Are we pre-determined?
I wanna know.

Why do we look like them?
Why don't they look like us?
Why do we think like them?
Why don't they think like us?
I have to know.

What is your plan for me? (Repeat)
Why am I here? Where should I go?

What is your plan for me? (Repeat)

Why am I here? Where should I go?

Is it easy to watch us,
Knowing we have failed You?
Do you really love us?
Is the Bible true?

"March 4, 2013"

I apologize for my ennui. I'm working on it.

I made too many mistakes,
Too many final decisions.
I broke too many hearts.
I burned too many bridges.
And now, I walk alone,
Follow the ones who still can love me.
No matter, where I go.
No one's truth can validate me.

I'm alone.
Disconnected from my feelings.
I tear through social stature,
Never knowing who's on my side.
Just give me a reason to be alive.
Awake the dying boy inside.

I played it safe too much,
Passed too many chances.
I gave away too much,
Leaving myself hollow.
I've changed a lot from Self-Confinement,
No more edgy confidence.
I crawl, fixed in temporary,
Unable to decipher ennui.

I'm alone.

Disconnected from my feelings.

I tear through social stature,

Never knowing who's on my side.

Just give me a reason to want to cry.

Give me some control of my life.

We're together in my head.
You, or you, or you, and me.
It took hours of cautious dreaming,
But I finally got the right idea.
I love getting ideas,
Theories so appealing.
So why can't someone love
The idea of me?

{Drink Me}

Don't you love those brackets? I do. I got a little crazy tonight on my Facebook page. Maybe I annoyed a few of the 37 people who "like" me. But it's just because I'm REALLY excited about this upcoming song. If I can finish it, and make it incredibly awesome, then I will be SO VERY happy!!! It's an "upbeat" composition, and I'm listening to a lot of Owl City and Imogen Heap/Frou Frou to get the right sound.

And now, hopefully, the instrumental for the first 1.5 min is available for preview on SoundCloud.

We shall see...works for me...but the mini player on my Facebook page was acting up.

https://soundcloud.com/luke-morin/drink-me

(Wake Up)

Today was the final day of the Jeff Franzel Songwriting Workshop. Advice: If you ever get to participate in this forum or even meet him, do it! He was incredibly helpful!

I finished my "October 17, 2012" song and performed it at the showcase today. This was a really nerve-wracking and exciting performance, because I took a different compositional approach to this song than really any other song I've ever done. Because I had to perform the song to receive feedback, I did a lot of improvising...more than I've ever been comfortable with. I had a beginning theme, a chorus theme, and the chord progression, but I just made up everything in between to keep the song going.
I'm really proud of the final result. SO PROUD in fact, that I'm going to record a demo with just piano/voice, and I will be playing the piano! Woh now!!!!

The finalized version will be a nice little pop track with some piano, lots of synth, and minimal drum machine. But I'll make both versions available...eventually. I'm still struggling over the title. I really don't like the title at all, but I can't think of anything else, so I'm putting the title in parentheses until I've made a decision.

Lyrics:

Baby, you don't have to run.

Just learn to take the fall.

Not good enough

Is better after all.

It's a matter of choice and heart.

Not trying to pull you down.

I can make a good start

If you let me stick around.

I'm not so sure you like me at all,

But I'll keep trying 'til you reject me.

I'm staying positive and

It makes me feel alive.

I know you look at other guys,

But I know that you still love me.

I need you to realize my truth.

Wake up and drink the poison.

I know it's not your fault.

You just don't notice me.

I can be difficult

Romantically.

But when I'm with you.

I am the man I should be.

It's shit like that

That makes you leave.

I'm not so sure you like me at all,

But I'll keep trying 'til you reject me.

I'm staying positive and

It makes me feel alive.

I know you look at other guys,

But I know that you still love me.

I need you to realize my truth.

Wake up and drink the poison.

(Instrumental)

I'm not so sure you like me at all,

But I'll keep trying 'til you reject me.

I'm staying positive and

It makes me feel alive.

I know you look at other guys,

But I know that you still love me.

I need you to realize my truth.

Wake up...

Wake up and drink my poison.

My Life is so Positive

So my music should reflect that, right? That's what I think. But every time I sit down to write a positive song, it turns into something sad. (Big insight to Luke Morin songwriting process. Remember this moment...) I'm never just happy. There's always some back-story, where something negative happened, and I'm getting over it. Songwriting is my personal therapy session. So in that sense, it makes sense that my music is a little upsetting. But I don't want to be THAT songwriter. The tortured soul. I like having a tortured soul, but I don't like this pigeon-hole.

So, tangent...

And now back.

I'm working on writing some positive music. I'm starting with love songs because love is the easiest positive emotion for me to express through music. But I'd like to branch out into truly positive and even spiritual ideas. I think it would be an amazing compositional breakthrough.

January 5, 2013

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"
Parading through the crowded roads.
"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!
Take it out on someone else."

When you wake up,
Do you blame the sun for disturbing your sleep?
Is the brightness too high for your safety?
How do you survive knowing your day is incomplete?
It's time to take it out on someone undeserving.

Wasted people, sing your anthem.
Finally, you get your song.

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!"

Parading through the crowded roads.

"It's not my fault! It's not my fault!

Take it out on someone else."