Antisocial now in the process of mastering

My computer is being very temperamental with this arrangement, so progress has been slow. But it's almost finished. I just have to go in and do the mastering. Here are the lyrics:

"I've got a sick obsession,"
Said staring at my feet.
I like to watch you
Have a conversation without me.
I'm hurting really badly
For someone like myself
To sit right up against me,
Put my social skills through Hell.


I know you are the one I want,
But I can't talk to you-ou.
You may have noticed that I'm quiet.
Guess I'll say it's tru-ue.


I'm antisocial,
Got a problem 'cos it feels like I'm falling
Out of the loop.
I'm antisocial.
It's annoying 'cos it feels like I'm falling
In love with you.


Your voice is scaring me.
H-How do I respond?
I like talking in groups of people,
Take the pressure off.
Feel my sweaty hands.
I saved them just for you.
Trying to find the time that's right
To make a mo-ove.


I'm old enough to get in trouble with you,
But I'm just too scared to break the rules.


(Chorus)


Stare you down.
(Turn the lights off)
No one can judge in the dark.
I fooled you now
(With polite talk)
But silently, I've gone too far.


I'm antisocial...


(Chorus)

It's a New Age

"As I've become more mature, does that really mean my music has to become sexual?" Theme for the next album? I want to explore, not the concept of sex, but why we're so captivated by it. I'm trying to write "Sexy Christian," but obviously that's difficult when I don't want to alienate my religion. But I am interested in writing a song about grinding.

I'll have to be careful about this concept of sex, though, because "Antisocial" and "Killer" are even starting to creep me out.

Am I a Bad Christian...?

I keep getting this song title stuck in my head, "Sexy Christian." Maybe it's because I'm getting older, more mature/rebellious. But the whole concept of this new album is to satirize what society tells me I should be thinking, feeling, and doing at my age. Almost like a tease, but having my head on straight. If I do write this song (which I probably will), I want it to be more about Christian teens giving in and conforming to the sex drive established by new age stereotypes. But it can't be vulgar because it's supposed to have a positive message through negative connotations (insert more big words).

Here's the problem:

I can't progress with Antisocial because the instrumentation file has been corrupted. However, I may try recording the vocals straight to that instead of through GarageBand. I lose some cool effects, but maybe go in a different direction. I'm getting tired of vocal production. I want to do something different.So there you have it. Did I mention I only have a small window until I am incredibly busy once again?

Note to all songwriters/composers out there

"Fur Elise" was composed by Beethoven, but was it really for someone named Elise? Was it really even for a girl? I don't know. I never had any interest in doing that research. But I've learned the obvious truth that people who listen to your music may think it is about themselves. Just a cautionary warning to fellow composers: Don't serenade or piss off the wrong people. And Elise, if you're out there reading this, my opinion is that the song is not about you. I do have a suggestion for you: "You're So Vain" by Carly Simon (Someone check the MLA/spelling). And to everyone: do your research. Don't assume anything about a composer. Our minds work in very strange ways.

Forgot to mention my composition breakthrough!!!

Last Friday, I premiered my composition, "En Trois," at a composition intensive camp recital. Not so extravagant, but it was pretty cool to hear my creation being played. It's a piano trio (piano, violin, cello), 3 minutes in length.

July 16, 2011

Give me some advice.
Give me, give me a reason why.
Tell me everything that I've done wrong.
I'll take a hit to my pride.
I'm not so sorry for what I said to you.
But I wanna be sorry for what I said about you.

Remember when we used to talk
About how much I loved you?
Remember when you had me and your boyfriend,
The best of both worlds.
If you weren't such a bitch,
I'd say that we should try again.
And if I weren't such a jerk,
I'd say that we should just be friends.

God, God, please bless this relationship,
'Cos it's heading straight to Hell.
I'm tired of wasting minutes,
Writing these fucking stupid songs.
(Put the pen down)
Tell me if I had a chance with you,
Or was I just a stupid friend?
'Cos I want to, want to, want to know
If I could get a girl better than you.

If I can't get you, I can't get anyone.
You're the lowest on the chart.
I'd like to know we won't both end up alone.
It'll be only you in the dark.

July 8, 2011

I wish I could sing as well as you,
But I can't. So I won't fucking try to.
I wish I were as in shape as you,
But I'm not. So I'll stay in the drive-thru.
I'm just as perfect as anyone else.
My insecurities just get in the way.
If you love everyone more than yourself,
Please tell me why you never stay.

June 17, 2011

You're a...bitch!
You're a shithead!
And I'd like to kick your teeth in.
Are you slow?
I don't know.
But you put on quite one hell of a show.
You're an ugly little girl
With a healthy little appetite
For distress.
You're a mess.
Your self-loathing,
Holding onto your boyfriend.
A dead-end.
Guess he's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

And now some lyrics...

June 3, 2011
You stole my friends.
(Out of line)
You broke my heart.
(Wasted time)
You called us friends
(That depends)
Until the end.
(I broke the tie)

I didn't wanna have to do this,
But I'm going up against myself.
I'll spend it all on someone different,
Saving up my mental health.

It's too late.
(We can't touch)
...

My AP Lit Project

I'm planning a concept album called Allusions. I'll compose a song for each book I read this year, and turn it in as my end of the year creative project. AND I finally get to include "Sleep" from my A Lesson Before Dying "soundtrack" on a legitimate album, not a collection of songs from TheDangerZone Part 3. So...here is a list of songs I've already considered.

1. Sleep-A Lesson Before Dying (2009)
2. Downfall of Vanity-Oedipus Rex (2011)
3. ?-A Tale of Two Cities (2010)
4. ?-The Catcher in the Rye (2011)
5. The Fall-The Bell Jar (2011)
6. Antiquity-Candide (2011)

Next Free Time Project

I have two possible titles for it: Joue. Igri. Play. or I'm a Hater (maybe even Imma Hater). It all depends on what direction I decide to take with the music. The first title will call for a piano-heavy influence. The second is my idiosyncratic tongue-in-cheek concoction. However, I am growing older, so it would probably be different (and more explicit unfortunately) than Population: ME! or Reconstruction. Whatever I decide, here are some songs I want to include:

1. (Stole My Friends)
2. (You're a...)
3. Wait For Me
4. (How Do I Feel?)
5. I'm Not Your
6. (D)
7. You'll See
8. I'm Not Over
9. Say It
10. The Last One (I Swear)

() denotes songs yet-to-be-titled.

working on Antisocial right now...

It's coming along pretty slowly. I don't like that, but that's life. I'd like to focus more on my composition portfolio for college, so there will be less songwriting I suppose. But I will still post lyrical tidbits here.

Sibelius

Goal for college: Write a piano sonata. I'm really interested in writing one, but I don't want to write one that sounds like Beethoven (right now, my ideas are quite Beethoven-esque). Then, I'll be one of those jerks who sits down at a random piano and starts jamming out, saying "It's just something I was thinking of."

So, I've been finished for a while

with Solitary Self-Confinement. I'm just working on the liner notes. But yeah, I decided to only have twelve songs. Then, the extras will be published some other way. Who knows. Official tracklist anyone? Maybe later. It's late.

I Give Up

I finished it!!! This is what I consider my first legitimate piano composition. I'm excited to publish it. I suppose it'll be on Youtube eventually...when I get around to it. But most importantly, ONE MORE SONG until I'm finished with Solitary Self-Confinement. I haven't decided if it'll be "Man Enough" or "Antisocial" or something else. But whatever it is, it will be finished soon.

Since my last post...

I have completed "Robot" and "My One and Only Other Guy Song." The latter won't be publicly release until Valentine's Day (of course), and the former still needs some mixing. But that means...only 2 more to go! And "I Give Up" is nearly complete. A wonderful 3 years of work well spent.

Next up, I've been composing on the piano, so maybe I can crank out a few more ballads, come up with that all-piano compilation.

So, this whole selling music thing...

I don't like it. It makes me feel squeamish and greedy. Plus I'm amateur. This should be therapeutic work giving me the experience to grow as an artist etc. etc.

"Solitary Self-Confinement" is taking way too long. I still have a ways to go, and I've been working on it for over a year. In Luke Morin time, that's about two albums, almost finished with the third. Oh well.