I'm So Full of Myself

It's finished!

9 down, 4 more to go

Solitary...tracklist

1. I'm Fine
2. Missing You
3. Stalk Me
4. Man Enough
5. Robot
6. My One and Only Other Guy Song
7. I'm So Full of Myself
8. Time
9. High School
10. Stupid Phone
11. No More
12. I Give Up
13. I Hope You Cry

Bonus Tracks:
1. Anti-Social
2. I'm Not Your
3. I'm Not It
4. I Don't Know
5. How Much Is Too Much?
6. Let Me...

No More on iTunes

I checked the store last night and, on a whim, searched for myself. Whaddaya know, there was my "new" single up and ready for purchase. So, if anyone out there actually reads this, please buy it. And then, buy "Solitary Self-Confinement", which will hopefully be released in December.

Stalk Me and others...

So I forreal-finished "Stalk Me," as in, I finally recorded some tiny parts and did some post-production stuff. So I may be uploading it to YouTube soon. I don't know yet.

Also, I'm almost finished with "I'm So Full of Myself." This is very exciting for me because I never thought I'd actually finish it! All I have left to do is record the ending chorus.

One last thing: I finally added "No More" to cdbaby, so hopefully that will be up on iTunes in the next couple of months, along with..."Solitary Self-Confinement"!!! I never thought I'd actually finish it, but I'm really close.

3 more songs to go!

Semi-finished "Stalk Me" a couple days ago. Still have to record one tiny vocal part. Then post to YouTube. It's kinda funny.

Why does creativity cost so much?

Looking into purchasing a synthesizer and a drum machine...hmm, pretty expensive. For me, at least.

Now that I've decided to pursue music composition in college, everything is becoming more and more serious. Must buy proper software/equipment for recording and composition, must PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE like crazy and keep creating (as quickly as I did 4 years ago), must polish piano skills and learn to sight(read/play) better.

So anyway...

Finished "Time" and "I Hope You Cry." On to "(Robot)" which sounds really awesome right now.

I know I shouldn't use this pathetic little blog as a soapbox, but...

really Right As Rain Studios? You're endorsing bands that sound like the High School era of The Donnas without the gritty girl-punkiness. And these are guys! It's the bubblegum version of Boys Like Girls meets Good Charlotte meets Simple Plan meets EVERY OTHER POP/PUNK ANTHEM BAND!!!

On a positive note, I do appreciate the use of real instruments, and the production. It's an ambitious effort. However, you're choosing crappy talent to represent yours. Better up those standards.

What I have up to this point

I have finished les paroles for "I'm So Full of Myself" and completed the music for "Time." Also, I've unearthed "You'll See" and "Say It" with some new lyrics. Even more, I wrote a little more for my (Robot) song, and I have one that I just started writing the other day.

Piano instrumentation for "I Give Up" is going very slowly.

I know you shouldn't focus on another project before you finish one, but...

for my next project, not only is it going to be Christian, it will also be classical! Because I am learning fifty million new pieces for college audition prep, I want to focus my newfound sightreading abilities on actually composing using my piano. No computer to edit, just straight-through acoustic piano and mic. For better or for worse.

...by the way, I added "Say It" back onto "Solitary Self-Confinement." I gave up on it because I wasn't too excited about the lyrics or the melody, but it provides a much-needed opening to the album's story. It shows the brighter side of my naivete before I plunge into the dark dance/techno/pop music. So, let's keep chugging through.

Time

It's mostly finished. I may add in a couple adlibs, write something for the end. But overall, finished product at 3:10. So that leaves:

Stalk Me, How Much is Too Much?, I'm Not Over, My One and Only Other Guy Song, I'm So Full of Myself, I Give Up, and I Hope You Cry.

I Hope You Cry

 I absolutely love this song! I spent most of my afternoon and night writing the lyrics and recording the vocals. Now I need to write the music, which will be a little more tricky. I want a strong bass line/drum machine part, neither of which I have been successful in composing in the past. It's hard to keep the parts interesting, so I'll have my work cut out. But I really do enjoy the vocal track. It sounds so perfect! ...minus one little fall I have to fix.


I Hope You Cry
I bet he doesn't know what you want from me.
I bet he didn't see you were using me.
And when he says, "I love you,"
Do you ever think, "Is it true?"
I don't mean to but in, 'cos I'm not a prize,
But you can't break me, then let me in.
Realize I'm not a wasted number.
And I'm over it...

I hope you cry
And die a lot inside.
I hope you cry,
Feel as worthless as did I.

I pushed the limit,
I admit.
Held on way too long,
But I couldn't help it.
I tried. I failed.
Declined your help.
I'm not a charity case.
(I'm just pathetic)

So go, run to the one who completes you.
And when I say my final goodbye.

(Chorus)

What's he got that I don't have?
What's he got that I don't have?
Is this all my stupid half?
Got me thinking and feeling like I'm lesser than.
What's he got that I don't have?
What's he got that I don't have?
I'm happy to ignore you once again...
Let go of my hand!

What I have that he does lack,
A bitter heart full of old regret.

(Chorus)

Productive again...and during school!

So, I finished Missing You tonight. It's kinda rough around the edges, a huge wall of sound. I may go back in and clear it up, but it sort of excites me. I still need the dramatic tinge to it.

Anyway, got that going. Now, I'm working on I'm So Full of Myself. Recorded vocals for some of it. Now I have to finish the lyrics and record/arrange the rest.

Ergh!

So with band and summer assignments and that pesky job, I did not reach my musical deadline. This saddens me to a very great extent. Got a laptop of my own, so maybe that'll give me some more creative time. Let's try for the end of August?

Thinking of doing a Christian cd next. Thanks God and NYG!

Txted Thought #5

The Holocaust museum in DC is very inspirational. Not only does it cover the Holocaust but all genocide around the world. Genocide needs to be stopped.

Txted Rant

I hate jazz piano. I don't know if it's the smoothness or over-subtlety. Or maybe it's the predictability of the innovation. Right here we'll have a falling sequence, chord, chord, walking build up to a dramatic chord teaser, fall back down into the smooth haze created by the pedal. And it doesn't have a melody or a theme. Too freeform for me. I appreciate classical piano much more. At least it can inspire pop music intricacies and hooks, bring out the best in ballads and dramatic compositions that would otherwise be standard 4/4 C Major fluff. Jazz piano inspires me to fall asleep.

Update

Working diligently on songs and stuff. Actually not diligently. I've hit a creative snag. But no worries. I have my own deadlines and they're very flexible. I just wanna get album completed by the time school starts back up again.

Txted Thought 4

It's raining like a mother out there!

I Don't Know

Scrapping "I Don't Know". Replacement coming soon.

I'm Not Over (1st verse + chorus)

Guess I started liking you.
Oh, I never thought of what I'd
Put you through.
I was scared.
We went too fast.
Unprepared
To make it last.
We can't undo.
I see you all the time,
And I want another try.

'Cos I'm not over...
I'm not over it.
I'm not over...
I'm not over you.

I'm tired

Getting back in the Russian mood

Txted Thought #2

Trapped in the drive thru at Steak 'n Shake. It sucks. Go figure. So very tired. This would be one of those times when I should be all creative and write a song, but I'm absolutely brain dead :(

Txted Thought #1

I think I'm gonna include acapella versions of all the songs from "Solitary Self-Confinement"...maybe a disk 2 kinda deal. I also want to remix some of the songs, but they may just be youtube uploads.

Stupid Phone

I'm just finishing it now! It's pretty good. Runs a little shorter than I'd like, 2:36. But it's amazing, so I can deal. There's a lot of stuff packed into the song, so I hope it goes over well. And I excessively swear, so it's a big step for me. But it sounds really cell phone-y!

song lyrics

Stupid Phone
Oh, I’m so devoted to you.
I’m txting you every night,
Hoping that someday you’ll see
That I could be your type of guy.
But it’s all too easy
To feel like you’re ignoring me.
So I’m checking it every second,
Waiting for what you’ll say.
And it’s getting apparent
That you won’t be answering.
I’ve got some things to do,
So if I hear from you,
I’ll send a message too.

Fuck you!
I’m not waiting by the phone.
Fuck you!
I’m not staying home alone.
Spend my time on a silly ring.
It’s incredible
I’m still functional.
You’re maniacal.

Oh, he’s gone, so you can talk now.
Don’t I feel so special…
I get a daily dose of seconds.
How magical…

I see the game,
But it’s not fun.
You make me hurt,
And then I run.
I guess I’ve got one thing to say…

Fuck you!
I’m not waiting by the phone.
Fuck you!
I’m not staying home alone.
Waste my time on a stupid ring.
It’s incredible
I’m still functional.
You’re maniacal.

So, why do you care where I go,
Who I’m with,
What I fucking do?
How are you so into me
Without liking me?
Am I too easy?

Fuck you!
I’m not waiting by the phone.
Fuck you!
I’m not staying home alone.
Waste my time on a stupid ring.
It’s incredible
I’m still functional.
I’m turning off my stupid phone!

How Much is Too Much
I’ve been watching you,
Watching your every move,
Waiting for the chance to say…
Something.
Can’t help from gripping tight
To what I feel is right.
So keep an eye on me
‘Cos I’m not leaving.
I’m into you.
This is nothing new.
How far can I go this time?

How much is too much?
For everything,
I would keep on trying.
Bring you close to me.
I know it’s a lot,
But I’m waiting for you now.
I’m waiting for you now.

I'm So Full of Myself
I'm just a little paranoid, protective
'Cos I don't want you stealing my thunder.
I need control over the situation
So I can always get what I want.

new song ideas

I'm working on "How Much is Too Much", "I'm Not Over", and "I'm So Full of Myself". So that would make the new tracklist:

1. I'm Fine
2. Missing You
3. Stalk Me
4. How Much is Too Much
5. I'm Not Over
6. My One and Only Other Guy Song
7. I'm So Full of Myself
8. Time
9. High School
10. I Don't Know
11. Telephone
12. No More
13. I Give Up
14. Say It
15. You'll See

I'm iffy on whether I'll keep "I Don't Know" and "Say It."

No More

I've really gotten into "No More," so I'm gonna post it on here. This is the first song I've ever posted on here. Kinda exciting, no? Anyway, it's in video form, and I absolutely love the artwork for it.

One of my February songs

I had two songs marked down on my tracklist as "February" because I started composing them in February. They're two piano pieces. I've finally given a title and theme to one of them. It came to me yesterday. I was sinking back into an all-to-familiar feeling of helplessness, and I said to myself, "Forget about it. Nothing will happen. You'll see."
So...the song will be called "You'll See." It's going to be the warning I always give myself when I let myself fall.

songs I am currently working on

Working on "Stupid Phone" and "Missing You" right now. I still need to finish composing and writing lyrics, but I may be able to finish them by the end of next week.

Stupid Phone

I'm working on this song about when I had a strange attachment to my cell phone. It's gonna sound so phone-like! As always, I'm really excited about it. And...I swear in it! I know it's bad to swear, but saying F*ck you is so liberating sometimes. Anyway, here are some lyrics:

Oh, I’m so devoted to you.
I’m txting you every night,
Hoping that someday you’ll see
That I could be your type of guy.
But it’s all too easy
To feel like you’re ignoring me.
So I’m checking it every second,
Waiting for what you’ll say.
And it’s getting apparent
That you won’t be answering.
I’ve got some things to do,
So if I hear from you,
I’ll send a message too.

Fuck you!
I’m not waiting by the phone.
Fuck you!
I’m not staying home alone.
Spend my time on a silly ring.
It’s incredible
I’m still functional.
You’re maniacal.

New Album Idea

I know that high school has been draining my creativity and my time, but I'm itching to come out with another cd. It's been quite a while since TheDangerZone Part3. I have 3 songs completed...so I'm on my way. The new album, if I do finish it, is called "Solitary Self-Confinement". Just look at this awesome album cover:


And here's a temporary incomplete track list:

1. I'm Fine *
2. Missing You
3. Stalk Me
4. Just Not Made For Love
5. I'm Not Your
6. My One and Only Other Guy Song
7. "February (piano piece)"
8. High School *
9. I Don't Know
10. Telephone
11. No More *
12. "February (piano piece)"
13.
14.
15.

*= finished pieces

It's been a while...

I'm performing another original song for the recital this year. It's called No More. I'm practically in love with it.

I know I want you.
I love the way you messed me up.
See I’m spineless
With psycho-obsessive love.
Yeah, I know that you’re taken.
I promise I will give it up.
So back away from me
‘Cos we’ve both had enough.
I’ll go.

No more fighting.
No more waiting.
No more wishing.
No more saying
I-I-I love you.
I-I-I love you.
No more crying.
No more txting.
No obsessing.
I’ll get a-away from you,
A-away from you.

See, I’m spineless.
When I see you, I melt.
I can fix it.
But I need you and no one else.
Too much emotion.
I’ll fight this stubborn crush.
But my heart’s not so tough.
When will I have enough?
I’ll go…

No more fighting.
No more waiting.
No more wishing.
No more saying
I-I-I love you.
I-I-I love you.
No more crying.
No more txting.
No obsessing.
I’ll get a-away from you,
A-away from you.

Why can’t we just try?
‘Cos this is not enough.
C’mon, just pass me by
So I can give you up.
I swear I’ll go!

No more fighting.
No more waiting.
No more wishing.
No more saying
I-I-I love you.
I-I-I love you.
No more crying.
No more txting.
No obsessing.
I’ll get a-away from you,
A-away from you.